Friday, June 22, 2012

Languages of Love (Words of affirmation)

Share instances with your spouse when words had a profound impact on your life-- positively or negatively.

Words have frequently had a profound impact on my life in both positive and negative ways.  I have an incredible memory and remember many things that were said to me as a child. My parents said some of the most hurtful things ever to me, usually about my weight and it took it's toll.  I believed i was some out of control blob of fat my entire childhood. when i look at pictures of myself as a child, I see a very unhappy, very attractive girl. I ate to push that pain down, to keep from hurting anymore.

Once in a chinese food restaurant I used a spoon to get 1 more shrimp from my shrimp fried rice plate and my dad shouted from the other end of the table "GO AHEAD YOU LITTLE PIGGY. EAT IT ALL. IT'S WHY YOU ARE SO FAT NOW." then he proceeded to oink and snort LOUDLY like a pig.  Everyone in the restaurant turned to stare and I wanted to die.  I would have willingly died right then because I thought everyone in the restaurant was looking at me thinking "What a fat, ugly little girl"  I was 9 or 10 years old.  That's been almost thirty years ago (It was susmmer, I was wearing a blue and white outfit that my parents bought me in had flowers on it and it was a friday night. It was probably 85 or 86 so we can call it 27 years.  I still remember the look of hatred on his face. I remember the other restaurant goers staring at me and I remember going for ice cream afterwards and dad telling me "you can't have any. you need to wait in the car little piggy." over ONE piece of shrimp. ONE PIECE. a single shrimp. I sat in the car while my brother and sister and parents ate ice cream at Baskin & Robbins.  When we got back to the neighborhood my dad stopped the mini van at the entrance and told me to get out and walk home.

Any time I reach for seconds of any food, those words echo in my ears.

I am notorious for saving texts that people send me that mean the world to me. I save emails and notes and things like that.

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